The vibrating phone woke me this morning. As soon I saw it was my sister, I knew it must be bad news.
“It’s Geoff,” she said.
Our brother, so sad and lonely, suffering the consequences of poor choices, had chosen his own exit route.
We both sobbed aloud.
Later, my daughter wrote “He was such a kind and funny man, I wish I knew him better.” That simple sentence was such a gift to me, because it reframed my thoughts of my elder brother on this very difficult day.
He certainly was kind and funny. But until that moment, I was thinking of him in terms of his uncomfortable parts. Of the ways we didn’t relate. It was a blessing to remember his kindness and funniness, and the ways we bonded. He was my brother. We shared memories. We shared DNA.
He chose to end a life that no longer held joy for him. While being immensely saddened, I respect that choice. I haven’t walked in his shoes, so I pass no judgement. I am just bereft.
Rest in peace, Geoff. Rest in peace. You are already missed, so so much.