what i forgot

#peace #sleep #sleeping #photoadaymay #photoadaymay_hashimaree

Photo by John Cook, c. 1994

This morning I got the “it’s really over” email from J.

You know, “it is time to cut the last strings of the marriage” and “it is time for us all to turn the page”. By which he meant, the chicky-babe is moving in. And he wanted me to hear it from him, not L.

I knew it was coming. When he asked me to come by and clear out the very last of my stuff so he could purge and redecorate, it was pretty obvious.

It’s OK. I hope I don’t run into her in the neighbourhood, but if I do, I will handle it as graciously as I can. I feel a pang, but not what I would call pain.

But yeah, it’s the end of an era.
And the beginning of a new one.

So tonight, prompted by Jen Lemen, I got to thinking about the things I forgot during my 8-yr marriage to J.

I forgot …
… that I was pretty
… that I really enjoy hanging out with smart people
… to meditate
… to suspend judgement
… that I’m not a superhero
… and I don’t have to pretend to be one
… to dance
… to ask for help
… that not everyone thinks the way I do, and that’s perfectly OK

What did you forget, but are now remembering? Please leave your answer in the comments.

Leave a comment


  1. oh boy. loaded question. I forgot that I am smart, that I am strong, that I can do this all by myself but with help from my community.

  2. I have probably forgotten more than I can remember, but I am lucky, mine has worked out. Seems to me that you were well out of that relationship, just remember though and dont do it again in the same way. Love Penny

  3. Lola

     /  June 7, 2012

    I love this post. I hope that this is the last live pang that J provides. I don’t like that those things were forgotten because they are all things about you that I love… And I know that I’m not alone there.
    I have forgotten lots of things in the past because of relationships and how I’ve been caught up or complacent in them. Most recently, I’ve forgotten how to feel good about myself.. Mostly physically, but in other ways as well. I’m working on remembering through making better choices and paying attention to what works for others, trying those things out and keeping what works for me. It’s been a challenge though.
    I hope that the gains of this experience with/without J will show themselves to you in loving abundance. I’ll be here while you figure it all out. That’s how we roll. I love you!

  4. I love this HONEST POST
    In my 13 years of hell

    I forgot that I was loved
    and that I mattered

  5. I forgot that I mattered

  6. I can’t remember. I’ve forgotten… Can you remind me?

  7. I’ve forgotten so many things, but you have prompted me to start remembering them again. Thank You!

  8. redhedphotogirl

     /  June 17, 2012

    I’ve never been in your situation but I do know that I forget how many people look to me for guidance and support. Sometimes that inspires me but most of the time, it scares the hell outta me. I’m glad you’re remembering, though. XO


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