are you still friends with your bff?

BFFs

“You have a very round face.”

These were the first words 10 year-old-Louise ever said to me, on the playground at my new school. They were not expressed critically; she was being pleasantly observational. I couldn’t be offended.

I envied her. She was also in Grade 5, but was one of the lucky few sharing the Grade 6 classroom. I believed I belonged there too, and spent the year watching her from afar, wanting to inhabit her world.

The following year we were in class together, and became BFFs. Louise Anne Webster, my first real friend.

Together we read Harriet the Spy and kept notebooks. We rode bikes and climbed hills and wrote (and performed) plays. We knew all about sharing bedrooms and doing chores and babysitting in our big families. We knew what it was like to be literate and introverted and not-like-the-other-girls.

We understood each other. Forty years later, we still do.

I am grateful for friendships that survive the decades, that span the rifts of time and place and religion and questionable life choices. Glad that my first BFF and her husband came to spend several nights in my home.

We’ve been able to catch up in a leisurely and gentle fashion, to get beyond the tales of what our kids and siblings are doing, to get to dreams and motivations and wonderings.

More than letters and blog posts and the occasional meal over the years, these days have made clear that the important stuff hasn’t changed, that the heart-and-mind connection remains. And that these connections are vital to me, and perhaps to us all.

This very round face is smiling.

What about you? Has a childhood friendship endured? If so, how does it make you glow?

Leave a comment

10 Comments

  1. It’s such a joy to have that connection. Reuniting with mine made me realize that my life of patches of chaos and abandonment does, in fact, have roots. My time with my friend Ellie was wonderful – we remembered but really cherished learning that the women who we grew up to be has left us as close as when we were very young children. We talk to each other more than I talk with most of my friends – and she is in the UK! Having that connection back, after just being out of touch for many years, simply made the connection that always stayed in my heart a part of daily life.

    Reply
    • I like what you said about the realization of roots. My childhood friend Nicole once said that there is something really special about our relationships with those who’d loved us when we were young; that they know us in ways, and to a depth, that our adult friends never can. Those bonds really do provide a kind of grounding, don’t they?

      Reply
  2. YES! She lives in Wales UK now, but we just pick up where we left off each time we see each other. Of course, Facebook has helped quite a bit in recent years though. And I have a friend I made as an adult who I’ve been friends with for over 20 years now. She’s priceless. Hear hear! for good friends.

    Reply
  3. Hashi, firstly, I cant believe how stunning you are looking. Its like you have turned back the clock literally! What a gorgeous photo!
    I will be meeting up with my BFF from childhood in about two weeks when we go to the snow. She works in Jindy now, and even after years of separation our childhood friends seem to pick up right where we left off. I love how it also brings out a part of our personality that for the most time lies dormant and forgotten. Like the spark that only ignites when we find that trigger. I reach new heights of silliness and immaturity around my school friends! Its like the clock winds back, and we are back to the time of innocence in our lives where none of the mistakes we have made since have ever happened. xxx <3

    Reply
    • Beck, thanks for the lovely compliment. You were a big inspiration for me to get to my ideal weight. Still got a few kg to go, but nearly there!
      I like what you said about returning to a time of innocence when we are with our childhood friends. It’s great to be able to let go of our adult burdens every now and then, isn’t it?

      Reply
  4. Louise

     /  May 30, 2012

    I have to echo Beck’s words and the beauty is not just in the photo. Thanks for a wonderful three days, for sharing your world with us and for reminding me of the power of friendship. I may be far away now but you are often in my thoughts. Take care.

    Reply
  1. what a year « such wild love
  2. all the love in the world | such wild love

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