only one way out

For a week or more I thought it could go either way. Yes, he broke up with me, but he was no less confused afterwards than he was before. Some days he was so tender, so present with me, that I wondered if we could, perhaps, make it work after all.

But then the next day, he would go and see her.

I finally realized that I was keeping myself in a mental trap, and nothing would change unless I was the one to say Stop. No More. It’s Over. I’m Going. And with that came a sense of exhilaration. No longer am I trying to convince myself that this is for the best. Now I know it is.

Seeing that house ad yesterday gave me such a lift. Whether or not I like or get that particular place (I am viewing it on Friday morning), just knowing that I can move to a place that feeds my soul has given me such a sense of anticipation. I’ve stopped looking back. I’m heading out to a new life, a new adventure.

I didn’t have this the first time we broke up. I was bereft, and trying to make the best of it. This time I’m excited.

Life, it’s grand, isn’t it? Bring it on.

Next Post
Leave a comment

5 Comments

  1. You go girl…run fast and free!! All the way to YOURself!

    Reply
  2. Elizabeth

     /  January 11, 2012

    I suspect the first time there was a lot fear within that feeling of bereftness. But now that you know what happens next, you can actually look forward to it. A blessing!

    Reply
  3. romina

     /  January 11, 2012

    Bring, bring, bring it!!!! Nothing but goodness is coming your way my lovely warrior!!!

    Reply
  4. Excited for you, too! Bring it!

    Reply
  5. hashi,
    hats off to you, it is tough i left my life long relationship last march and even through part of me would go back my smarter self knows what is good for me right now. I loved the house you posted the other day just the type o would snuggle in and take long walks to return to it.
    sending love, katy

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: