Another Aus trip was planned months ago, to celebrate Dad’s 80th on Jan 20 (I know! I was only there in August!). Suddenly, it’s nearly upon me, and the timing couldn’t be better.
My big decision now is whether to stay in the United States, or move back Down Under. So I am really glad that there’s a scheduled trip that might help my intuition in this regard.
There’s fear involved, either way. I’m fighting it, but it’s there.
Fear if I leave: that I won’t find a good job, that I’ll be broke and sponging off my family, that I’ll be living in a climate I don’t enjoy, that I’ll be paying tax in two countries, that I will never see my step-kids again.
Fear if I stay: that it will take me much longer to emotionally separate from J, that I will be lonely, that I will be re-inventing my life in a vacuum, that I won’t like where I move.
Breathing deep. Trying to put the fears aside. Trying to listen.