A year ago I wrote here about my beautiful eldest girl, Tui. Today, she carries new life in her belly, a second son to join her firstborn Jai, who is about to turn 15. That’s a long while between babies, but she’s ready for him :-)
I was 38 when Jai was born, and in total denial about becoming a grandmother. I didn’t even meet him till he was three. Looking back, I can’t believe that I chose to miss out on his early years like that.
Of course, I miss out on so much in my children’s lives by living on the other side of the world. But really? I completely skipped my first grandchild? That seems amazing to me now. I was young and poor and scared, but somehow that doesn’t seem like a good excuse any more.
So yeah, I plan to go back in November to spend time with Tui’s family, sharing the fun of a newborn. That’ll be three trips back in less than a year. Wow.
I love this self-portrait she took. I stole it from her Facebook page.
Posted by suchwildlove on June 11, 2013
The Guy and I have been working on a landscaping project for a while, spending some months in research and planning. Today was a red letter day: while a hired labourer was helping dig holes on the hillside, we took delivery of 25 trees. I was really really excited. Trees! Big ones! Ours!
As we’re still waiting on the mesh for gopher and deer protection to arrive, they won’t be going in the ground for a few days. So we squeezed them in the space between the two sheds (“Arthur” and “Jackson”) and hung tarps to deflect the deer for now.
Putting down roots, I am. It feels bloody marvellous.
Posted by suchwildlove on June 8, 2013
With every plant and pot I bring, I feel more invested. Not financially. Emotionally. I’m planting a garden again. It feels so, so good.
Posted by suchwildlove on April 21, 2013
They started as strangers. After 2 hours, they were friends. It was fun to watch.
Posted by suchwildlove on April 14, 2013
The Boy came over for dinner. It’s been months — maybe a year? — since we have hung out, just the two of us. What an awesome human he is. I am so happy to know, and feed, him.
Posted by suchwildlove on April 9, 2013
My gift to myself was a day of domestic solitude. In the evening, he plucked the guitar while I Skyped with family, then surprised me with a restaurant dinner. I feel loved.
Posted by suchwildlove on April 6, 2013
After two days home alone from school, she wanted some company tonight. It’s been a long while since a kid asked to sleep in my bed. I was glad to say “sure”.
Posted by suchwildlove on March 16, 2012
I cleaned all afternoon. L said it was the first time the floors had been washed since I moved out the first time. That was 11 months ago, people. I took a risk and washed the rug (as in carpet) that J had bought for the kitchen sink. It went through the washer and dryer just fine. If it hadn’t, I would have just replaced it with a bathmat. But I’m glad it survived.
I even swept the front path. The ice plant (or pig face, as we call it in Australia) is flowering brilliantly. Why am I cleaning like a mad woman? Because I have to live in this house for a while, and in my generosity last week, when J was feeling overwhelmed by all he had to do, I assured him that he could remove housework from his list. He did leave me a clean bathroom. For that I am grateful.
I am the beneficiary of various tickets that J bought before this Atlanta gig came along. Tonight L and I saw Spamalot in Hollywood (funny and entertaining, though far from being the best musical theatre I’ve ever seen). Before the show we dined at The Stinking Rose. Mmmmm, garlic.
And now I’m pooped. This was more action in one day than I’ve had for quite a while. I need to build up my strength for tomorrow’s Baby Lock serger class at my local fabric store. Yes, I have been invited to “a special event to introduce you to Baby Lock’s new generation of overlock machines.” I shouldn’t go, should I? I mean, there is no way I am spending thousands of dollars on a serger. Right? Right?
Posted by suchwildlove on March 4, 2012
I made the bed, tucking everything tight and smooth.
The boy and I worked on his Europe trip.
She was cheerful after dance.
The house feels peaceful. And the cat is all over me.
Posted by suchwildlove on March 2, 2012
It’s my second-last night in the treehouse, for about 6 weeks. J leaves for Atlanta on Thursday, and I’ll be sleeping most nights in the former conjugal home till he returns mid-April. I’ll take every opportunity to spend an hour (or more) here; it’s only a 15 min drive and it’s on the way to and from work. But I need to admit the fact that I’ve committed to being elsewhere, pretty much full time, for the next while.
It’s been made worse by the fact that L had yet another major fight with her mother last Friday night, so even the every-other-weekend-with-mom plan is blown.
J asked me to come over tonight, to go over the last details (here are the Disneyland tickets, there are the tax papers, put these dr appointments in your calendar), and because he just wanted to see me before he goes. He hugged me tight and told me he loves me. He said over and over how grateful he is for my kindness and generosity. I looked at him and thought: you will never have another wife like me. Knowing he and the chicky-babe are “in love, and everything is great” leaves me wondering why I am doing this.
But I know the answer.
I don’t stop loving just because someone else does. Not that I want him back. I’m past that, and I deserve so much better. But neither can I muster any hate. A friend asks for my help, I’m there.
Posted by suchwildlove on February 29, 2012