i can be a badass (in a good way)

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Tonight my friend Evie shared her list of things she’s learned (this past week) on summer vacation. Which got me thinking about the things I’ve learned lately. Which got me art journaling.

Re the last point:

At CrossFit, ‘badass’ is a compliment. It means tough & strong. It means you strive hard, and push yourself, and break through your barriers. That’s what I’ve been doing, in my ‘protecting my knee’/'I’m 50 not 20′ fashion.

So when I just googled the term and found definitions ranging from ‘ultra-cool motherfucker’ to ‘a tough, aggressive, or uncooperative person’ (neither of which I am) I wondered if this was a label I wanted to adopt.

But when I think back to last night, and the hardest workout of my life, and the high-fives and encouragement from the kids decades younger than me, I know … yeah. I can be a badass.

And it feels fucking fantastic.

with laughter and love

We can only experience the quest with laughter and love #newspaperblackout #secretmessage

i want to extend it now

I want to extend it now. #newspaperblackout #secretmessage

the women of lockerbie

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Theatricum Botanicum is a union house, so photography is prohibited. I snuck this extremely ininspired pic before this afternoon’s show; it does nothing to convey the thrill I get from seeing their performances.

On Wednesday, 21 December 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was destroyed by a bomb, killing all 243 passengers and 16 crew members. Eleven people in Lockerbie, in southern Scotland, were also killed as large sections of the plane fell in the town and destroyed several houses, bringing total fatalities to 270.

I remember that day. Do you? My daughter Rhea was about to celebrate her first Christmas.

The Women of Lockerbie is set seven years later, and deals with the grief of both the Lockerbie women (who, in some cases, lost family members or who had body parts in their houses and yards) and the parents of a young American passenger on Flight 103.

It’s a powerful play, embracing concepts of rage, love, grief, hatred, forgiveness, relinquishment, honesty, duty, craziness, and blame.

All in 90 minutes.

Strong writing, but even stronger performances. I’m loving everything I’m seeing at the Theatricum.

It was hot. Over 100° in this outdoor amphitheatre. I felt for the actors, rugged up for a Scottish December, in coats and boots and scarves.

I mopped my brow. But I also wiped away tears. Because this play is moving.

Very.

choose happiness

I was invited to spend the evening with girlfriends, but I knew I needed to spend it alone.

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I have given away some personal power this week, waiting for phone calls. Tonight was my night to get back into my own self-sufficiency, to remind myself that everything is totally OK, just as it is. That I am more than fine. Me. Alone. Fine.

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I was nearly back home from my hill climb, when my next door neighbour’s labrador pup wriggled under the fence to love on me. Which led to a shared bottle of wine with MB, and then an invitation to contribute to the community art project in his back room. Sharpies and paints were offered.

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Of course I partook, enthusiastically.

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Choose happiness? Yes.

Me too.

tim minchin

 

 

Just home from possibly the most entertaining two hours I have ever enjoyed. It was WELL worth driving to Santa Barbara and back.

Tim Minchin, you rock. Big time.

norton simon

It’s been way too long since I visited the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena. I took myself out there today to see Proof: The Rise of Printmaking in Southern California. It was excellent! After viewing the prints, I spent a peaceful hour in the gardens, where I had a bizarre but interesting conversation with a man about this and this. He didn’t want me to go, but I wiggled out of his virtual grasp.

The whole experience made me smile and inspired me to paint again. It’s been way too long for that, too.

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